The other person has different preferences (beliefs, ideas, and experiences) and is going to react to a situation differently than you. You might think something is reasonable or fair, but that's you thinking that, not the other person. You cannot assume that the way she would like to be treated is the same as the way you'd like to be treated.
I find it's a constant struggle to put myself in my Team Member's shoes and not treat them exactly how I want to be treated. That's the golden ticket in this article. I want to be treated one way. Someone else wants to be treated another way. Context is king.
There's a great list of questions Claire lists at the bottom of the article work jotting down for one-on-ones.